For As Long As I Live
by bmsnakia361991
Summary: This had to be a dream. There's no logical way for L to be standing in front of me claiming to be dead, right? Matt's POV. Implied onesided LxLight and MelloxMatt.


_Ok, so I got this inspiration from reading a manga that my friend little rosebud suggested, Count Cain by Kaori Yuki. Theres…really nothing specific that actually brought on this idea, but I did get the idea while reading it! The Hanged Man, specifically._

**AS LONG AS I LIVE**

_**Summary: This had to be a dream. There's no logical way for L to be standing in front of me claiming to be dead, right? Matt's POV. Implied onesided LxLight and MelloxMatt.**_

I closed my eyes against the bright light of the sun shining down, knowing that this had to be a dream. The sun just didn't shine like that here in Winchester. But this was odd, I didn't dream very often. And when I did, it was always about something I had recently played on one of my video games.

Very carefully I opened my eyes slowly. I was outside. Yet another reason for me to assume that I was dreaming. I hated going outside, but yet this place was almost…peaceful. I took a quick glance around me in hopes of determining where I was. Nothing looked familiar though.

"Hello, Matt." I turned around quickly at the sound of the voice. I knew that voice. And when the hunched shoulders and messy black hair came into my vision I couldn't be surprised. It was L.

I opened my mouth to question his appearance, but he cut me off before I had the chance to speak.

"You are wrong. This is not a dream." My mouth shut in an audible snap. How had he known that I thought this was a dream? A logically part of my mind suddenly sprang up saying that this was all in my head, of course he would know what I was thinking.

The soft sound of laughter pulled me from my mind. I focused back on the hidden face before me.

"I am not a part of your mind either. I'm afraid that I have passed away, Matt."

Passed away? You mean…L was dead? I blinked my eyes at him, knowing that this couldn't be real. Even if he was dead, there wouldn't be any way for him to speak to me through a dream as he was implying. The mere thought of it was just stupid.

"You can't be L. L isn't dead. And even if he was-" I began, trying to prove my point to the image of my predecessor.

"Even if I was then I wouldn't be able to speak to you? Yes, that is the conclusion I would have come to as well, but I do have some proof for you if you'd like." The phantom spoke even as he laughed, never once lifting his head to show his face.

I looked down, away from this image to decide whether or not I wanted to even attempt to believe him. The thought was ridiculous. And yet… I looked back up to see him…there was no mistaking the feeling I got from being in his presence. I had never had a dream about L before, so I had no way of knowing if this was true or not. Mello would have probably known. He believes in all that spiritual stuff. Dejectedly, I couldn't help but think that L chose the wrong successor to come to.

"I picked you for a reason Matt."

I felt my eyes widen as he spoke. He picked me for a reason? Why would he do that? His head lifted only a fraction of the way up, revealing his mouth stretched into a small smile.

"Near would have written this off without a second thought. And Mello would have never believed me without any proof, proof that he would have never gotten. But you Matt, you are different. You would assume that this was a dream, but you would still at least consider the possibility of this being real. You always were so much more that even both of the other two put together. It's such a shame that you never wanted the responsibility that came with the title of L. You could have been even greater than I was."

I couldn't move, couldn't speak, as he complimented me. I never knew L felt that way. A slight fog covered the lens of my goggles and I was forced to removed them, bringing up an arm to cover the dampness in my eyes. I could have been greater than L? It was never something I wanted, but just the thought of it meant so much to me.

"W-what's your proof?" I asked, struggling to keep my voice steady, but knowing that I had failed. I wiped the barely shed tears away and focused back on L.

"Lawliet." He spoke the single word with a slight twinge of a french accent, "It is my name. I know how talented you are with electronics. There is only one file in all of existence that contains my name. It is in the Wammy's database. I know that you have never found it before."

I thought back, knowing already that I had never come across that word before, just as L had said. Was this really real then? Did this one word that I had never heard actually prove that this man standing before me was really L? But then, that meant…

…L was dead.

"You really are dead then?" I asked, my voice sounding so much smaller than I ever remember it being.

A frown took the place of his smile as he spoke, chilling my bones.

"Yes, Matt. I am dead. I died at the hands of Kira."

Kira? Kira actually killed L? A weight settled down at the bottom of my stomach. If L couldn't catch him, then what hope did we have?

"Calm down, Matt. I came to you because I needed to give you my apologies."

I pulled myself from my mind again and looked up at him, seeing that he had finally lifted his head completely. My eyes widened and my breath caught as I stared into his tear filled eyes.

"I'm sorry that I left this burden to you three children." He said, his voice strangely calm against his crying eyes. "I'm afraid I let my emotions get the better of me and I fell for Kira's trap."

"Y-you-"

"Yes, I had considered the man a friend, unfortunately, and it resulted in my death. I had hoped that perhaps he would have attached himself to me and it would have saved both of us."

I couldn't ask why. I knew it without it even being said. Just by looking up into L's, _Lawliet's,_ tearing eyes I knew why he had risked so much when it had been so unnecessary to do so.

L loved Kira.

I had known L since I had first come to Wammy's when I was only 4 years old. I had met him even before Near, before even Mello. And I had never seen L look anywhere near as broken as he did right now. Suddenly, my heart went out to him. He had attempted to save Kira, and had lost his life in the end at the hands of the man he loved.

I lowered my head, knowing that there was nothing that I could say.

"Do not feel sad for me, Matt. It was my choice. But, I am sorry for what I have left the three of you with."

I lifted my head slightly and stared back at him again.

"Mello will not work with Near. You know that perhaps better than anyone else. I'm afraid though, that unless they manage to do so, that one, or possible more of you three may suffer the same fate that I have."

I thought for a moment, seriously considering what L was saying. After less than a minute, I knew that L was right. Mello would never work with Near. Mello hated Near. So then…

"I'll die." I spoke calmly, my tone of voice apparently forcing L to fully look at me.

"What?" He asked, clearly shocked at my response.

I shrugged.

"I'll die, then. I don't really mind." I said as I looked straight into his eyes. "If one of the three of us is going to die, because Mello never will work with Near, then I'll make sure it's me and not them. At least…as long as I'm alive I'll make sure that they won't die."

I watched as the longer I spoke, the more L's eyes seemed to tear up. But it couldn't be helped. He gave his life to try and save the man he love. I would do the same if needed.

"Don't worry, L." I said with a grin, slipping my goggles back over my eyes, "I really don't mind."

He stared at me for a moment longer, his eyes actually seeming to take me in completely. Then, I watched as he nodded, then slowly began to disappear. I frowned solemnly as I realized that he had done what he needed to do. He was leaving.

"Goodbye, Matt. I will miss you." He said in a distant voice. I raised one hand in a wave and called out before he left,

"I'll miss you too, Lawliet."

….

I opened my eyes only to see the bed across from me containing my best friend, Mello. I blinked a few times before I got up and grabbed my laptop and opening it. A quick glance to the date at the bottom right of the screen told me the time, Nov, 5. 3:24 AM. I quickly memorized the date and then set to work.

…..

It was seven o'clock when Mello woke up that morning, to me closing my laptop with a frown on my face.

"Hey, Matt, what's wrong?"

I turned to look at him closely. He looked the same as he always did, every morning. His long blonde hair hanging around his face, mussed from his tossing and turning at night whilst he slept. His bright blue eyes carefully trying to wake themselves up without seeming too obvious about it. His black pajamas all rumpled from lying down all night.

He looked beautiful.

I smiled suddenly, and stood stretching.

"Nothing, Mello. Come on, we need to hurry up. I'm hungry." His eyes followed me for just a second before he too stood and began getting dressed.

"So, what else is new? You're always hungry."

After getting dressed, Mello left the room, knowing that I'd be right behind him like I always was. But before I shut the door, I threw a thoughtful glance backwards at the laptop sitting on my bed.

'Don't worry, Lawliet. I promise to protect them both for as long as I live.'

I turned around, shutting the door behind me, then took off after Mello.

…..

_I know. This one was kinda sad. But I just couldn't make this one into a happy ending. This one is canon in case you haven't figured it out. Poor little Matt being so brave. I really always took him as someone who would give everything just for someone else. (Someone else being Mello of course.)_

_I hope you guys liked this little one shot. And thanks for reading!_

_Kia._


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